When we talk about gifting, I hope you are filled with the warm memories that come from the thoughtful care involved in selfless giving. What are some of your favorite recollections of gifting and receiving?
Robin Lythgoe
Author of As the Crow Flies
It was 1999, and my father was dying. The cancer was fairly aggressive. Shocking, when he’d been so healthy all his life. He’d left the family years before to follow a drummer only he heard. We didn’t see much of him, but still—it was Dad. Time was short. So was money…
Patricia Reding
Author of Oathtaker
Gift giving is an art – a fine art. Gift giving is the fine art of selecting just the right thing for someone—and it is one that I work at. At times I’ve hit the sweet spot so perfectly, that it left even me surprised. But before I get to that, let me comment on a gift I received that made a lasting memory.
Parker Broaddus
Author of A Hero’s Curse & Nightrage Rising
“I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.” ― C.S. Lewis
When I think about giving, and gifts, a story from when I was close to nine or ten comes to mind.
My younger brother and I were given a few dollars by our folks and encouraged to find something for each other for Christmas. Being a kid, I did some quick math, figured I could snatch a passable something and still have monies left over. And so I did. I found my brother some cheesy, cheap, plastic thing, wrapped it in some pretty paper, and checked off my duty.
At Christmas, I went first, as I often did. I ripped open my present, and I can still feel my shame in that moment. Because my brother did something very different. He found those few dollars weren’t enough. He raided his match-box treasure trove of discarded shell casings, one-legged army men, stale candy, hard bubble-gum and an odd assortment of wrinkled bills. He smoothed out the wadded cash and added it to his allowance so that he could buy a the shiniest imitation silver and ivory cap gun with a genuine plastic holster money could buy. Hundreds of caps, in tiny rolls, included.
I wanted to start over. I didn’t want him to open his present. Even now, over twenty years later, I can see the disappointment he tried to hide when he unwrapped it. But then he put on his best grin, said ‘thank you’, and set it gently aside. That particular thing, whatever it was, has been long discarded and forgotten.
But something was planted in me there, something that grew and continues to grow even now. I found that taking time and care to give a selfless kindness to another is a thing of great beauty, unlike any other. It is perhaps not all that common a thing in this shadowy world, which makes it shine all the brighter when we encounter it.
Selfless giving of ourselves is an expression of our hearts, one to another, and is as old and true as can be found: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
I hope your Advent season is filled with the good cheer that comes from both encountering and giving that love. And whether you are surrounded this season by that selflessness, or not, there is always opportunity to receive and be filled with that most sacred of loves. Emanuel. God with us.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, my goodness, what a beautiful story! We’ve all learned some very similar lessons in some very similar ways. As painful as they were/are (for the feelings never really go away, do they?), the lasting values are beyond measure. Thank you so much for sharing this, Parker!